prelims?

yeah so i was supposed to post times/results right????
and prelims was the last meet of the season. on one hand, im so relieved and happy and totaaaaaallly chilllled out cause no more stressful practices with rudy O:
on another hand, im sad. only 2 more years of track. little to no potential. havent made it anywhere. and i just love running so much and deep inside i never really wanted season to end.
and on the last hand (never heard anyone say that one before....patent pending?? justkidding. but seriously, if you steal the phrase that i coined....not cool.), im scared that imma get reallllly out of shape offseason and never ever ever improve and suck a looot next year.
so i guess imma have to work hard offseason too? just not as hard, i guess. but nobody would work that hard unless if rudy was right there yelling at them.

anyway, ill shut up now and get to the even MORE insignificant part. but since this has been my time log since god knows when, here goes nothing.

mile: 5:33.44 PR whoooooooooooooo. by 10 seconds too. i guess its cause i kindasorta tried? and brendon pushed me.
and after the mile, i was feeling pretty sore and didnt know if i could run the 800. yeaaaaaaaaah but i didnt bone out. i ran the 800.
800: 2:28.18 whooooooooooooooooooo! broke 2:30 and PR'ed. (: made my day.
and i beat daniel for once :OOOOOO lol beat him by like .3 seconds hahahahahahah suckkks. i feel bad for him though....he didn't PR in the 400 or the 800. and he was really feeling bad after his 400 cause he wanted to break 60 so badly but he didnt. D:

but anywaysss, PR'ed in both events.
now the placing was pretty depressing.
34th place out of 44 people in the mile, and 22nd place out of 34 people in the 800. waoooooows. but yeah im happy. :)

great way to end season for me.
today was yogurtland fun run. :D best last practice of season?? ahahahahahahaha.

track/running takes my mind off a lot of things. and i love those long runs, like to regional. totally anti-stress. and though theres like....no scenery, its just relaxing and any crap that might've happened during the day totally just vanishes. its pretty magical.
and even during speed workouts or with rudy, all the pain and soreness is the only freaking thing you can think. the only words going through your mind are like "breathe in, breathe out", "plz dont die plz dont die plz dont die" , and "WTFRUDY WHYYYYYYYYY"

but yeah hahahaha. now seasons over and i have all this college crap that my moms throwing on me.
and she always says she doesnt put any pressure on me, but when you're starting to send me to academy and planning on sending me there all summer long, that kinda says something, doesnt it?
and when you say uci or ucsd are bad schools and that if i go there ill have no future....................................that you should at least get into berkeley........yeaaaaaaaaaah toooooooootally no pressure right?

and when you ask what all the other kids are doing and how many APs everyone else is taking and this that and the other......its really freakin killing me.
your expectations are too high. lower them a bit. please. nina and janice didnt have half as much pressure/competition as me. nina and janice had a real family. nina and janice were privileged and they had money to spend and they didnt have to worry about not being able to pay.

and then looking at everyone else around me im just like O: no effing waaaaaaaaay im getting anywhere my mom says i have to get into. i mean, bleeeeeeeh. we have crazy star athletes, crazy freakin geniuses, crazy musicians, crazy actors, singers, you name it. its a big world, im a small person, and chances are, that i wasnt born with any talent anyway. (and i am correct). so how am i supposed to shine?
im not good enough, mom. sorry to disappoint.