post AP + rollercoasters? + final straightaway + ironman + ironman 2?

so the title kinda gives away whats on my mind right now, i guess....
its been a long time since i've posted, but i know i should have around 3 weeks ago, because that was when i (personally) was done with my first AP test! hahaha but i dont know. it seems that i keep on slacking off more and more, year by year. i remember 8th grade was like my first legit year of actually giving studying a shot, and it worked. except i remember i studied pretty dang hard, and i knew like....alll the details. and then last year i was pretty hardworking too, but near the end of the year, i burned out. and then this year, i stepped down another 2 notches. last year, i thought i'd be studying super hard for the AP euro test and i'd be so tired. turns out i got lazy and didnt.
and unfortunately, me thinks i screwed up on the free response hahahahahah plus the readers are gonna be pissed cause i crossed out like....half a page of stuff looooooool and its soooper hard to read :(
and if any of you are curious, no, i didnt cheat. and you make me sad for questioning my integrity. and i was pretty ticked off when i heard about it, but i guess its good, because that opened my eyes. it opened my eyes that people arent honest. people lie about others to try to make themselves seem better, and its only fair. people are all about self-preservation, right? as long as you make it through safe and sound, it doesnt matter who you hurt along the way? too bad the world doesnt operate like that, because if it did......everyone would be screwed. but these things happen, and sorry to get religious here, but God has His reasons, and He knows what He's doing. (awww yeah, i capitalized) and if you're an atheist/non-believer, everything happens for a reason, right? and one day, someone's gonna lie about you, or as forrest gump said, "sh*t happens".....so yeah. please dont let that person get the better of your opinion about me. i dont care if you think im ugly or stupid, but believing a rumor isn't cool. especially when its that serious. and when i didnt do it.

WHATEVER whreeeeeeeeee. anyway, this week was reaaaaaally cool. you know how usually, you wake up feeling happy and by the end of the day you're pissed/sad/not happy because of what happened during the day. this week was totallly different. it started out so crappy, and i was soo depressed and everything and i wasnt feeling well at all, and then like during french class yesterday (i get bored in that class), i had a random epiphany and everything just spiked back up. and being positive about life makes you so much happier. i was skeptical about it, but then all these things came into my head about God and Him being in control and having a reason for everything He does and how bad things make you stronger, and just about being a happier person and having a more positive outloook in general and it's cool because ever since then i've had a completely different attitude than before. and i realized i've been so pessimistic these past few years. i remembered i used to be such a happy, bright little boy, and for the first time, i kinda sorta feel like im getting back there again. its nice.

anyway, it is the final straightaway of sophomore year. its gonna be heck trying to get through next year, but we'll make it through, right? i can't believe it's all coming so fast. junior year used to be a nightmare in the distant future, but its coming reaaaaaaal soon. and after that it's senior year, and then we're college students. time passes too quickly, and honestly, i dont wanna grow up. i'm scared of facing my responsibilities, and the future that i've been putting off for so long. but then again, God has a plan, right?

andddd ive been thinking about doing ironman (dunno if its too late to sign up). and i should get an app soon, but im kinda lazy. i dont wanna leave high school with any regrets, and i think doing ironman would be kinda fun. anyone down to do it with meee ?? :OO

and i kinda wanna watch ironman2, although i only half watched ironman 1 (i fell asleep :O)......but it seems interesting, still.

btw , i got a new viola. its pretty awesome. 16 1/2, so its bigger than standard size O: and new rosin and new bow and everything....it sounds so nice. which means i have to practice extra hard now because it sounds like crud when i play cruddily on it.

btw, sorry if this post is overly religious for your liking. but i have the right to express my faith, right? judge me all you want, but i use religion to deal with a lot of my problems. it helps. :) you should try O:

okay me thinks im done this has been quite a long post. sooo long!