tis beginning to loook a lot like christmas!

in a christmasty mood today. (:
stoked for breaaaaaaak. im always stoked for days off of skewls. (:
track season is coming. but i feel lazy. and i dont feel as good about track anymore. theres so many people!
i guess people kinda intimidate me?? hahahaha yeah probably....
i wasnt like that when i was little though....maybe some childhood scarring occured ????
damn im one messed up child.

sooooo yeaaah. im not quite sure what to feel about this year. kinda crappy i guess. and then my moms going nuts over APs and SATs and extracurriculars all of a sudden. so all this time she has been a typical college freak mom. she just never shwoed her true colors.
but then again i really dont care too much now. i feel no need to try anymore. because im sure there a lot more deserving and talented people out there and so i cant compete with them anyway so whats the point! of course im not aiming community college low...but id probably be okay with like....a really low UC?/maybe a calstate. i dont know. alls i know is that im fallllllin way behind and im not doing ANYTHING college-productive.


anyways christmas break. church retreat yayyyyyyyyy! except oh yeah i think i already made the little rant about how its not really official because our young people group is so small.
whatever.


fun./